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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27482092">Broodmother</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyvvardenfell/pseuds/greyvvardenfell'>greyvvardenfell</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Gold to My Silver [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age: Origins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Panic Attacks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:20:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,597</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27482092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyvvardenfell/pseuds/greyvvardenfell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zevran comforts Reydis after the broodmother attack.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zevran Arainai/Brosca</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Gold to My Silver [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764202</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Broodmother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Old fic from Zevwarden Week 2017</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cavernous emptiness of the Deep Roads set Zevran’s teeth on edge. Every crackle of distant falling stone, every rustle of settling dust or flash of a mineral vein in the wall or pulse of leftover darkspawn ooze spattered across the floor further frayed his already-taut nerves and drove him closer to the dwarven Grey Warden he’d been trying so hard to protect from the dangers of her kin’s lost realm. His knuckles, clenched around the hilt of his dagger, were nearly as white as her pale skin, so tightly had he taken hold of the weapon, so desperately did he want, <em>need</em>, to be prepared should anything happen. Again.</p><p>He forced himself to let out the breath sticking stubbornly to his lungs, to release some of the aching tension in his forearms and wrists and hands. It would do him no good, he reminded himself, to be coiled so tightly that he snapped before he could spring. But still, catching sight of Reydis, his Warden, with her haunted eyes and her hunched shoulders weighed down by the still-fresh memory of the Broodmother’s horrific attack, struck him like a physical blow. She moved like a hunted animal, worse even than the cautious, sidling steps she took as a casteless through Orzammar’s commons. As strong as she was, as sharp her greatsword and as thick her dragonbone plate, the enemy that tormented her here couldn’t be matched. And it frightened him.</p><p>Zevran hadn’t expected the depths of the feelings that Reydis uncovered in him. Even now, months later, he dared not look at them directly. But he could no longer deny that she meant more to him than he could articulate, that he felt more for her than lust or attraction or even care. He hated the fear that dogged her with a burning intensity, hated that it drained her so thoroughly and yet stayed out of reach of even the swiftest strike of his sword. He hated that he could do nothing but watch her pain bloom and fester, that the closest she could get to him was wrapped in his arms. She deserved better. More. Everything.</p><p>Ahead of him, Reydis stumbled. He flew to her side in an instant, catching her arm before she fell. She peered at him through bleary eyes, blinking slowly, before recognition spread across their depths. “Zev.”</p><p>“Yes, I am here. And you are exhausted, my dear,” Zevran murmured to her, releasing his grip on her arm to take her hand in his. “Please, let us rest. We will be safe.”</p><p>“You can’t promise that,” Reydis said softly, her voice rough with disuse. She had said nothing for hours, trudging through the tunnels in silence.</p><p>Zevran heard the rest of the group stop behind them, Oghren fumbling at his belt for his flask and Wynne admonishing him for it before turning to Shale for support. He tried to smile, but it wouldn’t come. “I will try,” he whispered, feeling painful tears prickle at him as he looked at her and saw the stark evidence of the stress she was under in the bruise-dark crescents beneath her tired eyes.</p><p>Reydis stared back at him, drawing his other hand into hers and meshing their fingers together, squeezing them tight as she leaned close. He folded her body into his, despite the harsh edges of her armor, needing to feel the solidness of her. Her voice was quiet, but panic swirled beneath it, the same panic that had gripped her by the throat as it dripped from the Broodmother’s grotesque mouth and threatened to turn her into one of <em> them, </em> panic that had been chased into the shadows of her mind only by Zevran’s strong arms and lilting Antivan lullabies as he cradled her down from the gasping, choking brink of terror on the floor of the Broodmother’s den, panic that lingered like a starving beast, waiting for her to drop her guard just enough for it to sneak back in and take its place again.</p><p>“You’ve given me so much.” A tremble marred her words. “I can’t ask you for anything else. Not now.”</p><p>Inhaling the scent of her, even tangled as it was with the reek of the Deep Roads, calmed him like nothing else ever had. Zevran breathed into her hair and swallowed the lump in his throat, thinking carefully before stepping back from their embrace. “Reydis, we have discussed this before,” he said, tilting his head to one side and moving his hands to rest against her neck. “I… care about you. Very much.” His eyes flickered, glancing away. He covered it by reaching up with his thumb to stroke the lines of the casteless brand on her cheek. “Whether you ask it of me or not, I will always try to protect you.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t have to,” Reydis muttered. “I should be stronger than this.”</p><p>“My dear, whatever has made you think that facing what you have faced has weakened you?”</p><p>Reydis swallowed hard, new tears welling in her eyes even as she tried to will them away. “I shouldn’t need you to drop everything and take care of me every time something bad happens. I’m a Grey Warden, for fuck’s sake! It’s not fair to you that I take so much and never give anything back.” She shook her head and pulled her hands away from him, folding her arms across her chest and averting her eyes.</p><p>Zevran glanced over his shoulder at the rest of their companions, shifting uncomfortably in the tunnel behind them. “We are stopping here,” he said authoritatively. The others took the opportunity to scatter, only Wynne casting a gentle smile at him as she turned to begin unpacking her bedroll.</p><p>“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Reydis whispered roughly, stealing Zevran’s attention back to her. “You just never seem to need me like I need you.” Her voice cracked painfully on the last word and she snorted angrily. “Ancestors, I’m fucking crying again. Of course I am. That’s all I do these days, isn’t it?”</p><p>Slowly, Zevran wiped the tears from her full cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. “There is no shame in tears,” he said softly. “Of any sort. Once they have dried, tears are a source of wisdom. That is a Dalish saying, as I recall.” He looked deeply into her eyes, matching grey-blue with gold. “But even were it not, all would still be well. You are allowed to cry, my dear. Strength would be nothing without weakness for comparison, no? And you…” Zevran faltered, searching for words as his voice threatened to tremble with tears of his own again. He stroked Reydis’s hair to buy himself time. “You have nothing to fear from weakness. The strength you bear is enough for the whole of Thedas.”</p><p>Reydis almost laughed, a small smile twitching at the corner of her downturned lips. “I think you might be exaggerating.”</p><p>“I exaggerate only to prove my point,” he said with a chuckle. “You are the strongest person I have ever met, and I have met many, many people.”</p><p>She smiled fully, then sighed and tipped her head back to look at him. “You didn’t answer me.”</p><p>Zevran knew immediately what she meant and his grin faltered, his brows furrowing. “I… you are wrong.” He dropped his gaze and cleared his throat, staring at the filthy cavern floor between their feet. “Your strength helps me, as it does all of our companions, and… With the Crows, we were never… It was not often that I got to say, or tell anyone that I…”</p><p>In the low light flickering from Wynne’s magelight spell, Reydis could have sworn that Zevran was blushing. He didn’t usually stumble over his words.</p><p>“I do. Need you,” he said suddenly, snapping his gaze back to hers. “I am just worse at saying so. Tell me, do you know what I am saying when I call you <em>amora</em>?”</p><p>His golden eyes shifted and sparked with new heat, capturing Reydis in their swirling depths and forcing the distant panic birthed by the Broodmother to retreat even further into the corners of her mind. “I know it’s Antivan,” she offered, quirking an eyebrow. “But no, I don’t know what it translates to, exactly.”</p><p>“Ah.” Slowly, the heat faded and the feeling passed. “Suffice it to say, for the time being at least, that it means a great deal to me,” Zevran said. “As do you.” He passed his thumbs over her cheeks once more. “And it is my honor and my pleasure to prove it to you, in moments such as this.” He leaned into her and lingered, waiting for her to press forward and close the space between them.</p><p>She sighed. “Promise me something, though,” she murmured, her breath soft on his lips.</p><p>“Anything.”</p><p>“Will you tell me when you need me too, or try to?” Reydis rested her arms on his shoulders, crossing her wrists behind his neck. “Let me braid your hair sometimes or rub your back or something, y’know? Let me help you. I… I really do care about you a lot, Zev. You’ve been there for me like no one else has and I… I think I—”</p><p>Zevran interrupted her with a kiss that made her belly purl with flutters like the wings of the bats that flew past them when the Deep Roads broke the surface. He pulled her to him with his hands around her waist, longing to feel the soft, plush hips beneath her armor. As they broke apart, he smiled warmly. “I promise.”</p>
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